|photo by Dan|
When I was in college, I read C.S. Lewis’ poem
No Beauty We Could Desire and it had a huge impact on my understanding of who God is.
And of His love for me.
For most of my early years, I felt that either I was choosing to pursue a relationship with God or I was choosing to walk away from Him.
In many ways,
on a practical-day-to-day-choices-level,
and still is…
But I’d never really considered whether or not He was pursuing me.
Slowly revealing Himself to me…
Through His Word.
Through the Holy Spirit.
Through my own helplessness.
Through my need for something more.
He brought me to the end of my own efforts…
To a place when in brokenness.
I came to the end of me.
To the end of my strength.
And He showed His love for me through
One Hope for me.
When I read this poem…
It hit me–
On my own–I even lacked the ability to desire Him;
To find Him on my own.
My desire to know Him was because He brought me to the appointed place…
… where He pursues.
No Beauty We Could Desire
Yes, you are always everywhere. But I,
Hunting in such immeasurable forests,
Could never bring the noble Hart to bay.
The scent was too perplexing for my hounds;
Nowhere sometimes, then again everywhere.
Other scents, too, seemed to them almost the same.
Therefore I turned my back on the unapproachable
Stars and horizons and all musical sounds,
Poetry itself, and the winding stair of thought.
Leaving the forests where you are pursued in vain
–Often a mere gleam–I turned instead
To the appointed place where you pursue.
Not in Nature, not even in Man, but in one
Particular Man, with a date, so tall, weighing
So much, talking Aramaic, having learned a trade;
Not in all food, not in all bread and wine
(Not, I mean, as my littleness requires)
But this wine, this bread…no beauty we could desire.