Okay…so I’ve wanted to try this for a while now.
Each week The Gypsy Mama posts a topic to write about.
The rules– write for 5 minutes with no tweaking or editing (which kind of scares me honestly).
The topic– Hard Love
And so here it goes…
Start.
Hard Love
It happened again this afternoon.
In a crowd, being Mama.
And I noticed them noticing–
Wondered if their thought-words were:
“white mama, black baby”
Unspoken questions.
I held my baby-not-a-baby close and rocked her as she pretended she was sleeping,
Almost forgetting our game of “wake up”.
Is this hard love?
It was a risk to go down that adoption road again.
After losing Selah.
But as Lewis says…risking a heart broken is the only alternative to creating a heart unbreakable.
(or so I paraphrase)
And I want to keep that tender, feeling heart.
Because building safety walls is much too dangerous.
My love for her is strong love, real love, lay-down-my-life-for-you-kind-of-love–
The hard love I have for this God-gift child.
But–as I hold her and think of days before–
Before my heart knew her,
I do think of the
Hard love.
The really hard love.
That carried her close, even closer than I pull her in now.
That young mama, who chose
Life–
For this beautiful child that cracked through all my safety nets and layers of heart protection.
And so those questioning glances…
The ones trying to figure it all out.
I want them to know just how loved this child is.
By me.
By her.
By our God who knows the hard-love-cost
of giving of Himself,
for another.
Stop.
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