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| *photo credit |
I usually fight against it–
This bent of
Me and Mine.
Because really it’s–
Self-seeking.
Self-serving.
Self-focused.
Too much self in self-protection.
So I–
Wage war against the old ways,
Weeding out,
Wading through,
Wanting to–
Look out for others.
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Because He did it,
That One who–
Emptied Himself,
Denied Himself,
Gave up Himself,
For me,
At His Cross.
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| *photo credit |
But today I grapple with
The boundary-drawing-guilt.
What-motivation-built–
This fear of fencing in my needs?
I cringe to pen those words.
Too much my
Is what I’ve heard.
Is it guilt-from-Him seizing?
Or because I like the others-pleasing–
“Yes” ?
I’ve seen His strength provide,
When my heart to Him has cried–
I cannot.
A good place to stop.
My limits,
Him limitless.
But when I’ve written to the paper’s edge–
No margins left to hedge,
Crowded, illegible scribbles…
Is that what He sees within This whirl of din?
I want those growing-up-too-fast-kids to remember:
–a singing mama
–a smiling mama
–a slow-down-and-really-see mama.
So when things,
Or I…
Start the frantic-frazzled-frenzy–
When I’m living “Hurry! Hurry!”
Is it because I need more–
Room?
To find that less is best?
Or that I need more Him–
To find that He gives rest?
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| *photo credit
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Which battle am I in?
Trusting Him for strength?
Or in humanity, remembering–
The intentional, prayerful, pause,
Can please Him as He draws
My heart in sync with His.
Still wrestling with
This tension.
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