Last night we had a
And it was good.
And it was hard.
And it was true.
And there was some grit.
No big huge issues.
Just a little air-clearing needed after several weeks of running-crazy-busy, long work hours, end-of-the-school-year-hoo-rah, late nights, and…
The fact that we agreed to help with a marriage class this summer.
We went through Paul Tripp’s book What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage last fall with our small group and I really do think it’s one of my all-time favorite books about marriage. This summer our church is offering a class covering the contents of the book and we’re responsible for a section.
And an opportunity to share how God has worked in our marriage.
And an opportunity to be transparent and vulnerable about our struggles.
And an opportunity to point to God’s faithfulness.
Because most marriages start…with unrealistic expectations.
And as Tripp explains, “unrealistic expectations always lead to disappointment”.
The reality is that–
I’m a broken, sinful, person who fails.
And my husband is also a broken, sinful person who fails.
And we live in a world that is broken and sinful and full of failure.
Our marriages live in the middle of a world that does not function as God intended. Somehow, someway, your marriage is touched every day by the brokenness of our world…you will not escape the environment in which God has chosen you to live. It is not an accident that you are conducting your marriage in this broken world…None of this is chance, or luck. It is all a part of God’s redemptive plan. ~Paul Tripp What Did You Expect Chapter 1
I should not be surprised or disheartened that my marriage is sometimes a bit more like the movie
I should not be surprised that my marriage needs to be regularly rescued by grace.
And there is hope, because as Tripp shares in the first chapter of What Did You Expect:
When you are sinned against or when the fallen world breaks your door down, don’t lash out or run away. Stand in your weakness and confusion and say, “I am not alone. God is with me, and He is faithful, powerful, and willing.” You can be realistic and hopeful at the very same time. Realistic expectations are not about hope without honesty, and they are not about honesty without hope. Realism is found at the intersection of unabashed honesty and uncompromising hope. God’s Word and God’s grace make both possible in your marriage.
Realism–“the intersection of unabashed honesty and uncompromising hope”.
Oh–how I love this.
Marriage requires work and effort and digging in and facing struggles–
With honesty and with hope.
And “marriages are fixed vertically before they are ever fixed horizontally.”
So last night we had a “True Grit” talk.
And ended up closer and more united and more real and more honest–
Than when we’d started off.