Today She Would’ve Been Four

That’s what I woke up thinking this morning–
As the alarm-buzz jolted me to reality.
Those first years after she died, this day was so heavy,
Such a looming blanket of darkness…
That seemed to smother joy.

And I’m thinking of two in particular, as I write–
Who will face this Christmas in that new pain,
That fresh sting…
An empty hole where fullness once filled
A mama’s heart.

Yesterday was a strange day.
We awoke to both cars rifled through.
Nothing of value taken, but–
A Matthew 6 reminder…
Where thieves break in and steal.

A reminder from Him of forever.
And the assurance of eternal safety-security-protection…
Where treasures are stored up in Heaven.
And our treasured Selah is already there–
In Forever.

And on this day, that would’ve been her fourth birthday…
I thank Him for the time to
Pause and Value–
As her name suggests…
~ Selah ~

I thank Him for the little gifts that remind–
Her song played yesterday in church.
The sweet messages from friends and family…
Careful, tender fingerprints,
Of His love.

And I thank Him for the promise of Heaven…
That Selah’s life
And death,
Help me live holding tightly to the light of forever–
The hope of Heaven.

Because today she is four.
Not would’ve, but,
Is–
With Him, in Heaven,
Where every tear is wiped away and death shall be no more.

And tonight
We will remember…
Selah’s life.  The gift she was.
And her ongoing life,
With Him.

We will thank Him for Heaven.
For a joy that can’t be stolen.
For the tear-stained river
That leads to a pool of
Hope.

And we’ll remember Selah Noelle.
Selah– to pause and value
Noelle– Christmas.
The birth of Christ,
In this pause before Forever.

Living in light of eternity doesn’t remove my pain,
but it allows me to have hope in my moments of pain.
~Paul David Tripp
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Today She Would’ve Been Four

That’s what I woke up thinking this morning–
As the alarm-buzz jolted me to reality.
Those first years after she died, this day was so heavy,
Such a looming blanket of darkness…
That seemed to smother joy.

And I’m thinking of two in particular, as I write–
Who will face this Christmas in that new pain,
That fresh sting…
An empty hole where fullness once filled
A mama’s heart.

Yesterday was a strange day.
We awoke to both cars rifled through.
Nothing of value taken, but–
A Matthew 6 reminder…
Where thieves break in and steal.

A reminder from Him of forever.
And the assurance of eternal safety-security-protection…
Where treasures are stored up in Heaven.
And our treasured Selah is already there–
In Forever.

And on this day, that would’ve been her fourth birthday…
I thank Him for the time to
Pause and Value–
As her name suggests…
~ Selah ~

I thank Him for the little gifts that remind–
Her song played yesterday in church.
The sweet messages from friends and family…
Careful, tender fingerprints,
Of His love.

And I thank Him for the promise of Heaven…
That Selah’s life
And death,
Help me live holding tightly to the light of forever–
The hope of Heaven.

Because today she is four.
Not would’ve, but,
Is–
With Him, in Heaven,
Where every tear is wiped away and death shall be no more.

And tonight
We will remember…
Selah’s life.  The gift she was.
And her ongoing life,
With Him.

We will thank Him for Heaven.
For a joy that can’t be stolen.
For the tear-stained river
That leads to a pool of
Hope.

And we’ll remember Selah Noelle.
Selah– to pause and value
Noelle– Christmas.
The birth of Christ,
In this pause before Forever.

Living in light of eternity doesn’t remove my pain,
but it allows me to have hope in my moments of pain.
~Paul David Tripp
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  • http://www.crumbsfromhistable.com/ tinuviel

    I’m so sorry for your loss. May the Father of mercies comfort your grief and wipe away your tears in the way only He can.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      What you wrote is so true…only He can comfort in that way…thank you…

  • http://www.toodarnhappy.com/ Kim Hall

    My heart goes out to you and your family. You have written a beautiful tribute to your little girl who lives on so brightly in your hearts on this side of forever.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Kim…I love that…”on this side of forever…”

  • http://ajewelinthemaking.com Clarinda

    May God comfort you as you remember your beautiful child. So sorry for your loss.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you for your kind words Clarinda…

  • Julie Reed

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Sweet Selah touched and continues to impact so many lives. Blessings on you and your family. I love you, all.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Julie…I’ll always be so thankful for the way you contacted Randy when she died…and for how that led to his donating all the Heaven books for the memorial…that book is so special to us. So thankful for you…and also for your Becky…so thankful for her friendship. Tonight we’re going to look through Selah’s scrapbook…that only exists because Becks made it for me.

  • http://caz1975-thejourneyofus.blogspot.com/ Carolyn

    That was such a beautiful post, I can’t imagine the pain, but I also felt the hope, and the picture at the top is simply breathtaking and shows the reality of where she is now, thank you for sharing your heart!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Carolyn…your words are such encouragement…

  • HopeUnbroken

    oh, how i love this, sweet Kara! i imagine so many of our children, dancing and singing and praising. what a wonderful and sweet chorus it must be to Him. praying for you this day, as you give special memory to and hold that yearning in your heart for the day when you will meet again with your precious daughter.
    steph

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Steph…so thankful for you…
      I actually just found your email this morning in my “spam” box…will write soon.
      But already have stopped to pray.
      So “get it”.
      Thankful for our online friendship…

  • Carrie Dahl

    Happy Birthday, dear Selah. We look forward to meeting you again.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you…dear, Forever, friend…
      Our love to you and the whole crew! :)

  • http://makingajoyfulhome.blogspot.com Amy

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your tribute to her is achingly beautiful, and that picture at the top just fits it so well.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you sweet friend…our neighbors gave us that picture when she died.
      I love it..
      Helps me imagine…

  • Stacee T.

    Happy birthday, Selah! You will always be in our hearts! And your stocking photo has become a special part of our Christmas decorations!! Love you so much Kara!!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Always will be so thankful for the gift of those photos Stac…I have one large one that we printed and it always sits right by the fireplace during the Christmas season. Every year when I pull it out, I’m thankful for you!

  • Amber Koren

    I was thinking about her yesterday…thinking about what she would look like…praying for you guys.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you sweet friend. I haven’t commented yet on your little one’s birthday post, but I can’t help but think of Selah when I see her…remembering those early photos of the two of them together…so special to me.

  • Aimee Sproul

    So touching! We send you all our love.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Aimee…can’t wait to *meet* your little one :)

  • http://lgwilliams.blogspot.com Templetop

    This was a lovely post of faith and hope. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem. We too had a Grandchild pass away 7 years ago; and I know we will see him again. I believe in Eternal Families.
    Blessings to you and sending you hugs and love!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      I love that…eternal families…thank you.
      And I’m sorry about your little one…even when years have passed…I know they are missed.
      Love,
      K

  • http://our4kiddos.blogspot.com Lisa

    What a beautiful post. The picture is just breathtaking. I can only pray that my inadequate words can in some way convey the depth of emotion in my heart after reading the tribute to your precious little girl. May God’s love give you strength and comfort. Jesus is cradling your angel in His arms. What an amazing and incredible thought! I hope she gives Him a kiss for all of us. :-)

    Much, much, love and many prayers,
    Lisa

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      thank you Lisa…your words mean a lot to me.
      Love,
      K

  • Raising Mighty Arrows

    Kara, I’m so sorry for your loss, but am so thankful that we hope of seeing our dear friends and loved ones in a better land…where all tears will be wiped away. God bless you and your family during this time and always. :)

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      I’m so slow to respond to comments…
      But I read yours weeks ago and it meant a lot to me.
      I know you understand.
      And I’m especially praying for you tonight…
      Love,
      K

  • http://profiles.google.com/megancamille Megan Robinson

    what a beautiful post!! i saw in the BlogHer ad. you write so beautifully! i’m so incredibly sorry for your loss…. i cannot imagine the pain you’ve had to bear. but your faith is astounding and truly inspirational to me. thank you for sharing such a personal story to help inspire many others.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Megan for your kind comment and for taking the time to *meet* our Selah. That honestly means a lot to me…
      Blessings,
      K

  • http://www.joyfilleddays.com/ Sarah Beals

    Hugs to you, my friend. I can’t imagine your pain, but am praying for your always-there-ache…someday we’ll all be in eternity together. It makes me want heaven all the more. xo