…I fell asleep slumped over a hospital bed.
Up at Doernbecher Children’s Hospital.
And the next morning Selah died.
And I was kicking myself for moments-lost-in-slumber.
Today this card came in the mail.
One word
full of so much love…
From the doctor who was our doctor during that last week..
And it brought it all back,
for me.
At first there was the piercing pain.
And then the numbing pain–
With whole chunks of time that I honestly can’t remember.
And also there was the walking-pain,
Where it was all about just putting–
one.
foot.
in.
front.
of.
the.
other.
Clinging to Him.
And to each other.
That’s what I remember.
But what I also remember is…
The love.
Christ’s love through others.
If you want to know how to help a friend walk through grief,
just ask our friends-and-family.
At first…
It was meals and tears and coffee delivered,
children cared for and homework gathered,
children cared for and homework gathered,
Adoptions finalized just minutes-in-time.
Hurting-siblings-taken-ice-skating-away-from-the-sadness,
It was phone calls to funeral homes and trees planted in memory.
Shared poems-of-cherry-blossoms,
And early mornings of walking-talking.
It was notes taped to car windows and hugs without words,
And pastors-freeing-us-to-weep-openly.
It was bathrooms cleaned, expenses covered,
And pink-balloons-and-cupcakes-pointing-away-from-despair.
It was scrap books and slide shows and memorial bulletins,
When-we-could-not-muster.
And later…
It was photos left up and notes slipped in mailboxes,
And glances-across-church-aisles-when-certain-songs-played.
It was scones and hot chocolate on birthdays remembered,
And sweet words of love when the cherry trees blossomed.
It was others saying “5 children” instead of just 4,
And adoption so beautiful in the lives of so many.
It was Christmas-ornaments-displayed carrying her photo,
And a single white rose, just even last year.
And even now
it continues…
Four years later,
This–
Christ’s-love-in-action.
Christ’s-love-in-action.
Him using others, to show us His love.
His love pushing through the lingering sadness,
To remind us of the joy,
His gift,
And the glimpse of it, that we can catch–
Through the love within His family.
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