But Then You…

I wasn’t going to say–
I’m sorry.
I wasn’t going to ask for his forgiveness.
I wasn’t.
How quickly those tiny ice-hard-anger-crystals can chill the warmth of marriage…Even a good, solid one.

But then You–
Reminded me of how greatly I’m forgiven.
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. ~Psalm 32:1

My list of grievances was long.
My list of lists of all the holds that I could hold over,
Was long.
As I’m sure was his.

But then You–
Reminded me that while I was yet, You took that first step towards me.
…in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. ~Romans 5:8

I forgot who was the enemy.
I forgot in my forgetfulness where the true battle wages.
I forgot.

But then You–
Reminded me of his prowling, that evil one who loves to see a wedge between.
Your adversary the devil…seeking someone to devour. ~1 Peter 5:8

So I read…but it was more than reading.
So I read…because You wouldn’t let me push away,
But helped me sip down each iota,
When my heart was choosing between the welcome or the wall.

And then You–
Reminded me of the hope and life and grace and healing and Your Words cut to my core…   For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit…
~Hebrews 4:12

And by Your kindness, I was softened.
And by Your love, my heart was softened.
I felt the drip drip dripping of my ice warming to Your warmth.

Because then You–
Reminded me of what Love truly is.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things.
~1 Cor. 13:7

And then You.
In Your Word,
Your life-full Word.
Your live-acting Word.
Your trans-forming Word.
You changed this heart–
So in need of changing.




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  1. Yes! When I have a grievance God always reminds me of how much He has forgiven ME. And…you have a gift with words. :)

  2. wow. just wow! Wow, amazing grace. And, wow…this is a beautiful post. Love it, K.

  3. Truth.

  4. arichter01 says:

    I have been in this place for sure! Celebrating 18 yrs of marriage today, lots of having to forgive in that time and I’m sad to say my hubby is better at it then I am. But I’m workin on getting better, Grace is often hard for me!

    • We’re going on 16 years…and I’m so thankful for God’s grace with us.
      We’re committed to Him (even over us).
      (Though I love “us” too) :)
      But I think it’s why I appreciated Paul Tripp’s book so much…”Redeeming the Realities of Marriage”…there will be conflict, there will be struggles…
      because we are still both sinners in need of Him.

  5. Beautiful, beautiful post. Loved. It.

  6. Thank you for this post! Absolutely beautiful…

  7. That was an awe inspiring post. It was truly a heart felt one. Thanks for these words of love and comfort. Blessings to you for this one!

  8. messymarriage says:

    I think we’re on the same wavelength today, Kara. I had a similar sentiment about my hubby in my post. I’m so glad that your heart softened and God healed the breach. Also glad to be on the Everything Launch Team with you. Looking forward to our experience together! :)

    • Me too! (fun to be on the “launch team” with you :)
      Heading over to check out your post.
      I love when we get to “the other side” and it’s just this solid rock to hold on to–that He can soften my heart and mend the divide.

  9. Amy Thornton says:

    Yes, yes, yes! Oh how this hit close to home. Thank you so much for the reminder that it is my heart that needs changing and that He is faithful to do it. Beautiful post! Thanks for sharing with NOBH. Smiles!

  10. Diane Tolley says:

    A few months ago, I was feeling decidedly picky and negative. The only person around to be picky and negative to was my Husby. Then he quit talking to me. And it was then I realized the direction I was heading. I made a goal to only see the wonderful, beautiful things he did each day. For two weeks, I wrote them down. There were a lot. Now, that’s all I see. Marriage takes constant nurturing and attention. And forgiveness. 36 years and going strong. I Love my Husby! Thank you for sharing this beautiful post, Kara!

    • I love that! 36 years!!!
      And I also love that you wrote them down…something about writing it out…pen in hand. That’s how blogging/writing is for me–reminds me of the Truth I want to hold onto.
      We’re good.
      But it’s also good to know you can and will struggle and that God can work through our mess to create something even more solid.

  11. Oh Kara! How many times this has happened to me…and it’s MY heart He operates on, and I’m in need of fixing most every time! Thank you for sharing your heart so beautifully here. What an encouragement!

    • Thanks so much for these encouraging words Jacque and you’re so right…it’s my heart that needs the fixing. When we “turn the corner” and He fixes my perspective, I’m always so so thankful.
      And I think it’s incredible the way He’s able to even change emotions…it’s one thing to just do-the-right-thing-out-of-obedience…but it’s amazing when He truly softens my heart and the emotions follow (if that makes any sense?) :)

  12. A beautiful reminder… Thanks for linking up to the Thrive @ Home blog hop!

  13. Cross Moms says:

    This is absolutely stunning! Thank you for sharing so honestly from the heart. I’m so glad to know you on NOBH. You are truly an inspiration.
    Love and God Bless,


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