If It Was My Fish…

If it was my fish.
Or my bread.

I probably would’ve said…

“It’s not enough to offer you, this small bit of fish & bread. Why bother?  It can’t amount to anything. Clearly it’s not enough.”

“Let me figure out the best way to divide the fish & bread. Let me make you a spread sheet of the maximum number of people we can feed with this fish & bread.”

“You don’t want this fish & bread. They are old. And stale. And not worthy of sharing with others.  My offering will just embarrass you (and me).”

“I want to give you this fish & bread…but I’m scared to hand it over. It’s the only food I have. And I need to make sure I’ll have enough.”

This strange mix of pride and worthlessness.
Why would He choose to use my bread and fish?
What could they amount to?
And if I were to give them up, would I be provided for?

⁸ One of his disciples, Andrew, said to him, ⁹ “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?” ¹⁰ Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” So the men sat down, about five thousand in number. ¹¹ Jesus then took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated. So also the fish, as much as they wanted. ¹² And when they had eaten their fill, he told his disciples, “Gather up the leftover fragments, that nothing may be lost.” ¹³ So they gathered them up and filled twelve baskets with fragments from the five barley loaves left by those who had eaten. ¹⁴ When the people saw the sign that he had done, they said, “This is indeed the Prophet who is to come into the world!” ~John 6:8-14

But the miracle comes through the handing over.
Of Everything.

Of really nothing.
Because what do i truly have to offer?
i.

“I’ve spent a great deal of my Christian life trying to manufacture what only God can flourish.” ~Mary DeMuth 

That’s the miracle…
That He sees the–
i.
In all of my inadequacies…
And He chooses my small offering.

Fingers slowly uncurling as i place my pieces of fish and crumbs of bread in His hands.
And the baskets overflow with His goodness.

i.
HIM.
He is the miracle-maker…
And I am blessed to be a part of it all.

“He created us for adventure, not ease.
Instead of obeying in the moment and experiencing powerful spiritual growth, we wander around in circles chasing ease, trusting ourselves to solve our problems, living a Godless life…

Why is it that some people can know Jesus for forty years and be stingy and untransformed?
Why is it that others can exude Jesus four months after shaking hands with Him?
The answer?

It has to do with what those people do with everything.
They either hoard their “everything” as a means to coddle and control their lives, or they joyfully relinquish everything to Jesus.

And when that second group gives up everything, they gain Jesus, who is our everything.”  

~ from Mary DeMuth’s book, Everything (releasing October 2012) 

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