And Then He Told Me That I’m Adopted…

I don’t know why it never “clicked” before–
How I’m adopted too.
But somewhere in the middle of our first journey down the road of adoption, I came across these verses…

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ~Romans 8:15

“He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will.” ~Ephesians 1:5

“…to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” ~Galatians 4:5

As God’s child–
I am adopted.

Just pause over that for a minute.
No, really…
Stop and–
Pause.

If God is your Father…then you are His adopted child.
If you are part of His family…then adoption is part of your story.

And adoption is close to our Father’s heart,
So it should be close to ours as well.

November is National Adoption Month.

Even if you aren’t planning to adopt,
Or you don’t sense God leading your family down that road,
I’d encourage you to journey along with us.
Some of the most amazing God-gifts during our adoption process were the friends and family who will willing to walk alongside as we both wept and rejoiced our way towards adoption.

Today I’d like to start by sharing our adoption journey below…

Our Adoption Story

 

I don’t really remember–
When God first put adoption on my heart,
Or my husband’s heart.
It was a process…
It started back before we had biological children.
When I would check the Oregon waiting children pages.
And I would read their stories.
And my heart would hurt.
And I would feel unable—
Unwilling–
Not ready–
To meet the need so great.

And then years later, I sat at a child’s sports practice with my friend Becky,
Who was open to adoption.
And I told her my secret.
I was willing…
And felt my heart pulled–
To adopt.
But I would pray (because the decision was so great, so big, so beyond me-in-my-own-strength)…
I would pray for God to place it on my husband’s heart.

And then one day,
On a car ride home…
After a day spent with children needing rock-solid-family-permanent–
He said,
“Do you think maybe God wants us to adopt?”
And I knew that was a message from the Father’s heart,
Our Father who “places the lonely in families”
(Psalm 68:6).
And so we took the baby steps.
And saw closed doors and open doors and major moments of
Confirmation.
And within months we were matched with Selah,
Our December baby.
Who lived to be a true time of–
“pause and value”,
As her name suggests.

~Selah~

He gifted us those almost-five months of peace.
When I felt most at rest.
The most restful and valuable–

~Pause~

In my whole life.
And then we lost her–
To a disease in a world full of sin-induced-hurt.
To a disease in a world needing–
Redemption.

But we wept and writhed in the aching sorrow,
That kind of sorrow that churns within and pulls out
The deepest, silent, voiceless screams–
A pain beyond all words.
I knew that on the day she died–
When the judge cleared the courts and finalized our papers,
And they delivered her adoption decree up to the hospital,
Just hours before her death…
I knew–
God was in this.
This path of adoption.
Because adoption is real.
Because the hurt could not be more real,
More deep.
We truly mourned our child  that day.

I knew the depth of love-adoption,
How deep adoptive love is.
How complete and firm and solid and final–
That love is.
That adoptive love.

And so she entered into…
Eternity.
And we wept.
And we grieved.
And I lay on my bed silently shouting Job’s cries.
And my heart hurt not fully ready to embrace new love again–
Just frozen in a pained embrace–
For a long while…

We started the process soon after.
But God knew I wasn’t ready.
We needed to surpass birthdays and lost days and grief days and the season of spring when everything–
The cherry blossoms blooming,
And the smells and the songs and the possibilities…
Could only remind me of–
Her.

We stepped back–
In fear of future hurt.
We stepped back–
As we thought of what might happen.
For a length of time…
We stepped back.
Waiting until we could fully say…
“Your plan. Your will. Be done.”
Risking a heart broken is the only alternative to creating a heart unbreakable.

And on the day we rejoined the journey,
He matched us with a mama-so-in-love…
A child so loved by a mama-who-trusted-hope–
Who trusted Him.
Who went in–
To end a life,
But saw the life.
And chose Life–
For the child,
That she would carry.
That baby.
Our baby.
Our Lydia.

Even amidst the turmoil,
Even amidst the hurt,
Even amidst the abandonment–
That mama wouldn’t forget her child.
And in that grasp of self-sacrifice,
Her gift was beyond all gifts–
Except His.

And two months later.
On a perfect day,
A God-appointed day…
Our Lydia Grace was born.
It was Father’s Day,
My husband’s birthday.
And in love for us, that sweet mama welcomed in
Our Lydia.
Alone in a room of pain and delivery.
Alone–
But He was there.
She chose deliverance and called so we could hear–
Our Lydia’s first cry.
And I wept–
At the gift.
Of life.

Adoption ushers in life,
And family.
And love.
Adoption ushers in redemption.
And hope.
And an eternal hope.

I understand it better now.
His love for me.
That it is real and full–
As I am truly His child.
As she is truly ours.
As I love her with that lay-down-my-life-for-her–
Kind of love.
Which He did–
Lay down His life.
So that I might be adopted…
As a real child, as a real heir,
With love beyond all measure–
Through adoption.

“…but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons,
by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
~Romans 8:15

The rest of the posts in this series:

The Most Important Question You Can Ask About Adoption
Helpful Adoption Resources
Living Out-of-Control (and how adoption helped us Let. It. Go.)
Seven Reasons That We Love Adoption (and why I think of it every Day-Before-Thanksgiving
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Comments

  1. One of my closest {IRL} friends adopted a little girl from China a few years ago. Watching their family knit themselves together, and seeing the love they bestow on their daughter, has helped me understand MY adoption as never before. I think it’s a beautiful picture of our spiritual redemption! And I look forward to reading the rest of this series! Thanks for sharing your heart, Kara!

  2. Beautiful. I remember a couple of years ago reading those verses and the same thoughts hitting me. God has adopted me in His family. I love that!

  3. He makes beautiful things- adoption is one. Love this. Love you.

  4. liv4him26.wordpress.com says:

    What a great perspective to look at: We are adopted too! Awesome! Beautiful words. Thanks for sharing your journey!

  5. stopping by from Laura’s…beautiful story…I really think a sweet surprise of adoption is such deeper realization of our adoption story…I have heard so many of my friends express this in different ways…thanks for sharing here~ blessings~

    http://tuningmyhearttopraise.blogspot.com/2012/11/two-fathers-call-me-friend.html

  6. As you know, our family has been blessed by adoption. It is a perfect picture of our adoption in Christ. Thank you for putting into words what is in my heart.

    • You were one of the first families we really knew who adopted…I am so so SO thankful for you and the Brands and a few others who we consider our forerunners…you all made it seem like adoption was a real possibility when we started praying about it all.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story. Adoption is a beautiful picture of the way God has brought us into His family. I have learned so much about adoption from walking with friends and family in their journey, each story is beautiful and a gift of grace. Blessings!

    • I feel SO much the same way Christina…our adoptions here and now totally changed forever how I view my adoption as God’s child. I love that you have walked alongside your friends and family in their adoptions…we have special friends (and family) like that… who mean SO much to us…sharing in the process and being there in the midst of it all, is such a gift.

  8. This is so precious, Kara. I can’t wait to share it with others!

  9. Oh, Kara. I absolutely love this. Precious and every person should read this.

  10. He makes all things beautiful in His time, yes? Love your words here…

  11. Love. This and you:)

  12. Corrine Hannon-Eide says:

    Such a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing!

  13. I was adopted and it amazing how God has hand on us from the beginning. Overwhelmed with God’s Grace Uncovering the Truth about Adoption. My journey is in Print.

    • The way you described that is beautiful Margaret…God’s hand on us from the beginning. It encourages me greatly to read stories of how He weaves together families. Love that you took the time to put it into print…
      Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment…

  14. Thank you for sharing your story Kara! So beautiful and so amazing. We have neighbors/friends right now who are beginning the journey and it’s exciting to be involved even a little bit!

  15. You are amazing and your heart is stunning. Thank you for the ways you share, Kara. Very humbled by your story.

  16. This is an amazing story! I am so glad you shared your heart. I want to adopt some day if its in God’s plan. Ever since I read Mary Beth Chapman’s book, Its opened my eyes in so many ways. I prayed to God that he would open my husbands eyes to want to adopt because my heart is there but he’s wasn’t at the time. But then one day at church my husband saw a video on adoption. We are now on the same page. It’s pretty awesome! :) But your story has really helped to encourage me because it opens my heart up even more for Adoption. There are so many kids out there that need to be loved and have families. Now I know if God wants it to happen he will make a way. Amen! :)

  17. This is an amazing story! I am so glad you shared your heart. I want to adopt some day if its in God’s plan. Ever since I read Mary Beth Chapman’s book, Its opened my eyes in so many ways. I prayed to God that he would open my husbands eyes to want to adopt because my heart is there but he’s wasn’t at the time. But then one day at church my husband saw a video on adoption. We are now on the same page. It’s pretty awesome! :) But your story has really helped to encourage me because it opens my heart up even more for Adoption. There are so many kids out there that need to be loved and have families. Now I know if God wants it to happen he will make a way. Amen! :)

    • Jessica…I just LOVE what you wrote.
      I didn’t have time to include a post in the series about–
      “What to do if only one of you is feeling pulled to adopt”
      But that is one of the questions I most receive from readers…
      And it’s exactly what you wrote…trusting God to move in your spouse’s heart in His timing. I love love LOVE that you both are sensing God leading you down the adoption road together and I firmly believe that’s always how He will lead when it’s His timing…that you’ll be on that same page together.
      Please let me know what happens along the journey for you.
      I love adoption stories :)

  18. beautiful, such a good encouragement as we are looking to be approved for foster care and adoption within the next month.

  19. Oh Kara, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. My heart broke for you and your loss and I wonder at God’s redemptive work through pain. Looking forward to going through this series with you.

Trackbacks

  1. […] you haven’t read Part 1 of this mini-series, you might want to check out our adoption story before reading […]

  2. […] you missed the first two posts of this series, you may want to go back and read about– our adoption story and the most important question you can ask about adoption.  But today I’d like to share […]

  3. […] And Then He Told Me that I’m Adopted (our adoption stories) The Most Important Question You Can Ask About Adoption Helpful Adoption Resources Living Out-of-Control (and how adoption helped us Let. It. Go.) “Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His steadfast love endures forever!” ~Psalm 118:1 […]

  4. […] sure you don’t miss the other posts from this series: And Then He Told Me That I’m Adopted (our adoption stories) The Most Important Question You Can Ask About Adoption Helpful Adoption […]

  5. […] And Then He told Me That I’m Adopted […]

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