And Then He Told Me That I’m Adopted…

I don’t know why it never “clicked” before–
How I’m adopted too.
But somewhere in the middle of our first journey down the road of adoption, I came across these verses…

“For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” ~Romans 8:15

“He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will.” ~Ephesians 1:5

“…to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” ~Galatians 4:5

As God’s child–
I am adopted.

Just pause over that for a minute.
No, really…
Stop and–
Pause.

If God is your Father…then you are His adopted child.
If you are part of His family…then adoption is part of your story.

And adoption is close to our Father’s heart,
So it should be close to ours as well.

November is National Adoption Month.

Even if you aren’t planning to adopt,
Or you don’t sense God leading your family down that road,
I’d encourage you to journey along with us.
Some of the most amazing God-gifts during our adoption process were the friends and family who will willing to walk alongside as we both wept and rejoiced our way towards adoption.

Today I’d like to start by sharing our adoption journey below…

Our Adoption Story

 

I don’t really remember–
When God first put adoption on my heart,
Or my husband’s heart.
It was a process…
It started back before we had biological children.
When I would check the Oregon waiting children pages.
And I would read their stories.
And my heart would hurt.
And I would feel unable—
Unwilling–
Not ready–
To meet the need so great.

And then years later, I sat at a child’s sports practice with my friend Becky,
Who was open to adoption.
And I told her my secret.
I was willing…
And felt my heart pulled–
To adopt.
But I would pray (because the decision was so great, so big, so beyond me-in-my-own-strength)…
I would pray for God to place it on my husband’s heart.

And then one day,
On a car ride home…
After a day spent with children needing rock-solid-family-permanent–
He said,
“Do you think maybe God wants us to adopt?”
And I knew that was a message from the Father’s heart,
Our Father who “places the lonely in families”
(Psalm 68:6).
And so we took the baby steps.
And saw closed doors and open doors and major moments of
Confirmation.
And within months we were matched with Selah,
Our December baby.
Who lived to be a true time of–
“pause and value”,
As her name suggests.

~Selah~

He gifted us those almost-five months of peace.
When I felt most at rest.
The most restful and valuable–

~Pause~

In my whole life.
And then we lost her–
To a disease in a world full of sin-induced-hurt.
To a disease in a world needing–
Redemption.

But we wept and writhed in the aching sorrow,
That kind of sorrow that churns within and pulls out
The deepest, silent, voiceless screams–
A pain beyond all words.
I knew that on the day she died–
When the judge cleared the courts and finalized our papers,
And they delivered her adoption decree up to the hospital,
Just hours before her death…
I knew–
God was in this.
This path of adoption.
Because adoption is real.
Because the hurt could not be more real,
More deep.
We truly mourned our child  that day.

I knew the depth of love-adoption,
How deep adoptive love is.
How complete and firm and solid and final–
That love is.
That adoptive love.

And so she entered into…
Eternity.
And we wept.
And we grieved.
And I lay on my bed silently shouting Job’s cries.
And my heart hurt not fully ready to embrace new love again–
Just frozen in a pained embrace–
For a long while…

We started the process soon after.
But God knew I wasn’t ready.
We needed to surpass birthdays and lost days and grief days and the season of spring when everything–
The cherry blossoms blooming,
And the smells and the songs and the possibilities…
Could only remind me of–
Her.

We stepped back–
In fear of future hurt.
We stepped back–
As we thought of what might happen.
For a length of time…
We stepped back.
Waiting until we could fully say…
“Your plan. Your will. Be done.”
Risking a heart broken is the only alternative to creating a heart unbreakable.

And on the day we rejoined the journey,
He matched us with a mama-so-in-love…
A child so loved by a mama-who-trusted-hope–
Who trusted Him.
Who went in–
To end a life,
But saw the life.
And chose Life–
For the child,
That she would carry.
That baby.
Our baby.
Our Lydia.

Even amidst the turmoil,
Even amidst the hurt,
Even amidst the abandonment–
That mama wouldn’t forget her child.
And in that grasp of self-sacrifice,
Her gift was beyond all gifts–
Except His.

And two months later.
On a perfect day,
A God-appointed day…
Our Lydia Grace was born.
It was Father’s Day,
My husband’s birthday.
And in love for us, that sweet mama welcomed in
Our Lydia.
Alone in a room of pain and delivery.
Alone–
But He was there.
She chose deliverance and called so we could hear–
Our Lydia’s first cry.
And I wept–
At the gift.
Of life.

Adoption ushers in life,
And family.
And love.
Adoption ushers in redemption.
And hope.
And an eternal hope.

I understand it better now.
His love for me.
That it is real and full–
As I am truly His child.
As she is truly ours.
As I love her with that lay-down-my-life-for-her–
Kind of love.
Which He did–
Lay down His life.
So that I might be adopted…
As a real child, as a real heir,
With love beyond all measure–
Through adoption.

“…but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons,
by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
~Romans 8:15

The rest of the posts in this series:

The Most Important Question You Can Ask About Adoption
Helpful Adoption Resources
Living Out-of-Control (and how adoption helped us Let. It. Go.)
Seven Reasons That We Love Adoption (and why I think of it every Day-Before-Thanksgiving
Don’t want to miss new posts?
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  • http://dogfuranddandelions.com/ Elizabeth @ DogFur&Dandelions

    One of my closest {IRL} friends adopted a little girl from China a few years ago. Watching their family knit themselves together, and seeing the love they bestow on their daughter, has helped me understand MY adoption as never before. I think it’s a beautiful picture of our spiritual redemption! And I look forward to reading the rest of this series! Thanks for sharing your heart, Kara!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Elizabeth…I love love love that you have a heart for adoption. That it brought you joy to watch your friend’s journey…it’s so encouraging and beautiful to me.

  • http://profiles.google.com/metzgersix Jenifer Metzger

    Beautiful. I remember a couple of years ago reading those verses and the same thoughts hitting me. God has adopted me in His family. I love that!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Me too! :)
      I used to just quickly read right over them…but I think of all that our adoption of our girls means to me…and it causes me to really stop and give thanks for His love SO MUCH GREATER!

  • http://twitter.com/RachelWojo Rachel Wojnarowski

    He makes beautiful things- adoption is one. Love this. Love you.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you friend…
      Miss you.

  • liv4him26.wordpress.com

    What a great perspective to look at: We are adopted too! Awesome! Beautiful words. Thanks for sharing your journey!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you for the encouraging words…. Love, K

  • http://tuningmyhearttopraise.blogspot.com/ ro elliott

    stopping by from Laura’s…beautiful story…I really think a sweet surprise of adoption is such deeper realization of our adoption story…I have heard so many of my friends express this in different ways…thanks for sharing here~ blessings~

    http://tuningmyhearttopraise.blogspot.com/2012/11/two-fathers-call-me-friend.html

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      It’s so true…I had no idea that it would change my understand of His love for me…but it truly has.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kelly.c.court Kelly Crane Court

    As you know, our family has been blessed by adoption. It is a perfect picture of our adoption in Christ. Thank you for putting into words what is in my heart.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      You were one of the first families we really knew who adopted…I am so so SO thankful for you and the Brands and a few others who we consider our forerunners…you all made it seem like adoption was a real possibility when we started praying about it all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ChristinaRFox Christina Fox

    Thank you for sharing your story. Adoption is a beautiful picture of the way God has brought us into His family. I have learned so much about adoption from walking with friends and family in their journey, each story is beautiful and a gift of grace. Blessings!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      I feel SO much the same way Christina…our adoptions here and now totally changed forever how I view my adoption as God’s child. I love that you have walked alongside your friends and family in their adoptions…we have special friends (and family) like that… who mean SO much to us…sharing in the process and being there in the midst of it all, is such a gift.

  • TereasaM

    This is so precious, Kara. I can’t wait to share it with others!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Teresa…and thank you for being “in this journey” with me.

  • http://twitter.com/ChooseJoyDaily Catherine Vaughn

    Oh, Kara. I absolutely love this. Precious and every person should read this.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Catherine…thank you…praying for you as you walk through these hard days…when the ache must still be very very heavy. Thankful for you friend…

  • http://twitter.com/DanieAtDomestic Daniele

    He makes all things beautiful in His time, yes? Love your words here…

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      That song is one of my favorites…thank you Daniele.

  • http://hissongtomeshalom.blogspot.com/ Mandy

    Love. This and you:)

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you friend…

  • Corrine Hannon-Eide

    Such a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Corrine… Love, K

  • Margaret

    I was adopted and it amazing how God has hand on us from the beginning. Overwhelmed with God’s Grace Uncovering the Truth about Adoption. My journey is in Print.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      The way you described that is beautiful Margaret…God’s hand on us from the beginning. It encourages me greatly to read stories of how He weaves together families. Love that you took the time to put it into print…
      Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to comment…

  • http://www.onefunmom.com Christy

    Thank you for sharing your story Kara! So beautiful and so amazing. We have neighbors/friends right now who are beginning the journey and it’s exciting to be involved even a little bit!

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      I love that you want to be involved…just walking through it with them (them knowing it’s exciting to you and you care)…will mean tons!
      We need a good, long catch up talk soon…

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  • http://lauraboggess.com Laura Boggess

    You are amazing and your heart is stunning. Thank you for the ways you share, Kara. Very humbled by your story.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Oh Laura…thank you. Thank you for letting me share and for caring…

  • Guest

    This is an amazing story! I am so glad you shared your heart. I want to adopt some day if its in God’s plan. Ever since I read Mary Beth Chapman’s book, Its opened my eyes in so many ways. I prayed to God that he would open my husbands eyes to want to adopt because my heart is there but he’s wasn’t at the time. But then one day at church my husband saw a video on adoption. We are now on the same page. It’s pretty awesome! :) But your story has really helped to encourage me because it opens my heart up even more for Adoption. There are so many kids out there that need to be loved and have families. Now I know if God wants it to happen he will make a way. Amen! :)

  • Jessica

    This is an amazing story! I am so glad you shared your heart. I want to adopt some day if its in God’s plan. Ever since I read Mary Beth Chapman’s book, Its opened my eyes in so many ways. I prayed to God that he would open my husbands eyes to want to adopt because my heart is there but he’s wasn’t at the time. But then one day at church my husband saw a video on adoption. We are now on the same page. It’s pretty awesome! :) But your story has really helped to encourage me because it opens my heart up even more for Adoption. There are so many kids out there that need to be loved and have families. Now I know if God wants it to happen he will make a way. Amen! :)

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Jessica…I just LOVE what you wrote.
      I didn’t have time to include a post in the series about–
      “What to do if only one of you is feeling pulled to adopt”
      But that is one of the questions I most receive from readers…
      And it’s exactly what you wrote…trusting God to move in your spouse’s heart in His timing. I love love LOVE that you both are sensing God leading you down the adoption road together and I firmly believe that’s always how He will lead when it’s His timing…that you’ll be on that same page together.
      Please let me know what happens along the journey for you.
      I love adoption stories :)

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  • Judy Webb

    beautiful, such a good encouragement as we are looking to be approved for foster care and adoption within the next month.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Oh Judy…that is WONDERFUL!!!
      We have friends that were just approved last month and several who are in the process…I praise God for giving you a heart to minister in this way… Love, K

  • http://www.amylearns.com/ Amy Tilson

    Oh Kara, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story. My heart broke for you and your loss and I wonder at God’s redemptive work through pain. Looking forward to going through this series with you.

    • http://thechuppies.com/ Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you for stopping by Amy and for caring and for these kind words. It’s incredible to me when I stop and think about they way God redeems heartache and pain…so much hope in that.

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