Five Years Ago Today…



This card came in the mail yesterday.
From Selah’s doctor up at the Children’s Hospital.
She remembers every year.

Just one word– Selah,
To pause and value.

And I went walking with some friends this morning and one said–

“It’s not that you miss the person less…
It’s that around you, life fills (with joy) all the more.”

My cousin is going home to an empty nursery, an empty crib…
Her empty arms aching for their little boy Oliver, who died last Friday.
She’s just beginning the unavoidable walk through grief,
Still wondering if she’ll ever feel anything other than raw pain.

I take a deep breath.

“I breathe the home air.  Jesus tells us that the air of his home is love:
‘You have loved me before the foundation of the world…’
Love surrounds all and conquers grief…” ~Spurgeon

There are joyful-giggle-screams echoing through my window,
where cousins are playing-arguing about who is the best ninja,
while their feet pump hard in the air, swings soaring, flinging flip-flops upward toward Heaven.

And the olders in the kitchen blend smoothies of ripe berries while the dog sleeps at my feet, and the sun shines.


But there is a hole in the line up.
An empty place where I wish our five-year-old Selah was also sitting-smiling.
Sipping her smoothie with them.
But the hole is not forever.
One day all will be complete and–

“We should always seek to keep Heaven in our line of sight”
–Randy Alcorn

And today is a taste of Isaiah 51:3 for me–

“Indeed, the Lord will comfort Zion;
He will comfort all her waste places
And her desert like the garden of the Lord;
Joy and gladness will be found in her,
Thanksgiving and the sound of a melody.”

All of God’s whispers of love for us continue on.


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  • Jessica

    It’s so sweet that the Doctor remembers every year. That just brings tears to my eyes. I will be praying for you and your cousin today.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      i know…
      i can’t even believe it each year when a card arrives.
      I cry each time.
      And all of her doctors came to the memorial…just so, so incredible.
      We love Doernbecher Children’s Hospital…

  • Mandy

    Love you. #selah

    • Kara @ The Chuppies


  • Barefoot Hippie Girl

    Wow! Praying for you and your cousin.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      thank you… Love, K

  • Aubrie Drayer

    I look forward to meeting sweet Selah someday. Thanks for sharing her with us.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Aubrie…thank you.
      I love what you wrote.
      That Someday is huge…and if not before then…I’ll finally be able to spend some time with you and your mom. :)

  • Tricia Keierleber

    That was so sweet of her Dr. say this every year, but I’m in tears! Thinking of y’all and Selah today!

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Tricia…
      Love the way God has crossed our paths… Love, K

  • Rachel Wojnarowski

    Much love and many prayers.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      I know you know…
      I don’t even need to write out why and how I know you “get this”
      You live-walk in this reality day to day.
      I honestly pray for you each morning when I first log on.
      So thankful for you sweet friend. I don’t say it enough…

  • Elizabeth @ DogFur&Dandelions

    Prayers and hugs to you, friend!

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Elizabeth…Love, K

  • Lisa Jacobson

    You’ve said it so beautifully and warmly and truly. “One day all will be complete and WHOLE.” I love that and cling to it – needing it some times more than others.

    Praying for dear baby Oliver’s family. And for you too, today.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Lisa…
      I’m so thankful that our paths have crossed.
      I really, truly hope to know you IRL.
      Praying that God will allow for that reality. Have so appreciated your posts at Darlene’s.

  • Carissa @ Sole Sisters Running

    I’m so sorry Kara. For you, for your cousin. Having had a taste of grief last week (just a taste really and yet it rocked my world) I sympathize a little more than I otherwise could have and I see that God uses these sorrows to help us help others. I am thankful your cousin has you during this sad time.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      I’ve been praying for you…
      There’s this place, I think, where God allows Heaven to come close…to become a reality. I’ve been praying for all (especially those close to you) who were impacted by what God allowed you to come close to last week…I’m sure you are still walking through a grief process. We have been praying for your family.

  • Elisa Pulliam

    Oh Kara, a precious reminder to give thanks and joy for those in our midst and pray for those we love who are walking the road of loss. My heart hurts for your cousin. I’ll be praying for their family.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you so much Lisa…so appreciate it…they are in those first few really difficult days, when life goes on as “normal” but…nothing is normal.

  • Mattie Wells

    Praying for your heart Kara. Does it ever get easier? Missing my two babies tonight and came across your post…just sending love and prayers <3

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Oh Mattie….
      We need to talk.
      I’m so sorry for how your heart must hurt.
      It does get easier.
      I was just thinking that this year (while I wept in church today because they played a “Selah song”.
      It’s always a tender spot…always a place that the tears resurface…but I promise you…cling to Him…it does get easier. And keep Heaven in your line of sight…always on the horizon.
      Message me at if you ever need an ear…
      Love, K

  • Daniele

    Sweet peace in these days – praying for your cousin and for your family too. Grace friend…

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Daniele…your words are always a deep breath of peace and pause and refreshment.

  • Cindy Hamilton

    Yes! Kara….Heaven is sometimes so close that we can feel the love from those who’ve gone before. Beautiful.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      That’s how i want Heaven to be…not just a far-off-idea…
      But always on the horizon.
      Thank you Cindy…for taking the time to leave these words of kindness and encouragement… Love, K

  • Hannah Williams

    Such a sweet post. May God bring you blessed reassurance of His undying hope and love!

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you Hannah…
      And you’re so right…hope in His love for us that is eternal.
      I cling to that.

  • LeAnn Williams

    What a lovely heartfelt post; it was sweet. I feel sad for your cousin. Just as you know the healing will come but the missing them won’t. I pray that right now they will feeling the comfort of the spirit as they go through their grieving moments.
    Blessings for the hope you share.

    • Kara @ The Chuppies

      Thank you LeAnn…you are always such a place of comfort and encouragement…thank you.

  • Eve Stoughton

    Kara – I had been meaning to message you for an update on Baby Oliver when I saw this post. :( Our hearts ache for your cousin and her family. We had been praying for them and cannot imagine the rawness of their pain. I know you know it first-hand, and while I’m sure that’s a comfort to your cousin, I’m sure you wouldn’t have chosen to be the one “to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we
    ourselves are comforted by God.” Thank you for sharing though, as it is a reminder to not only cherish each moment, but also to reach out and pray for those who are hurting. We will continue to pray for healing.